Shiny Things

Customer disservice

Oh the total luncay of it... the frothing at the mouth stupidity of things...honestly, you can't make this stuff up. A sitcom wouldn't accept it - it's too far fetched.

Here goes: A tale of 2 F***-ups:

Sorry story number 1: All about the car

The car's been breaking over the past couple of weeks and I had to go to 2 different places to get the exhaust fixed. One garage replaced the back section in an emergency and made a temporary 'thing' to hold it to the undercarriage.

The temporary 'thing' lasted 3 days... spent a weekend in as I couldn't drive anywhere because my exhaust was being held off the ground by a belt.

Well, I had to wait until Monday to get it fixed and it was done with a minimum of hassle.

Driving into work on Tuesday morning the fan belt broke. One of my advisors advised that it would be really easy to fix so we tried but a solid bolt defeated us.

So where's the customer service element? The RAC.

I have breakdown cover with them. I bought it over the internet in March. The 1st time I called them - when the new exhaust was trailing on the dark lane when I had no torch - they took half an hour to find any record of me in the system. Each time they tried a new thing to find me they asked for my details again. I must have spelled my surname 5 times, given my car registration 6 or 7 times, I lost count of the number of times I gave my postcode...

They found me eventually.

Well on Tuesday when I was faced with the solid bolt I called the RAC again to see if they could do a roadside fix to replace a fan belt. No - but to find this out took 20 minutes of them not being able to find any record of me on the system. And yes, they asked for my details repeatedly.

This brings me to Wednesday. I called a garage to arrange having the fan belt replaced. They needed to get the car to them and offered a recovery service. I decided to use my breakdown recovery so I didn't have to pay the garage's recovery fee.

Yeeeeeees, that's right. They couldn't find me (ffs).

30 minutes later they established that I exist and arranged a truck (also confirming again that a roadside fix isn't possible). 45 minute ETA on the truck. Call garage (for the umpteenth time to check that this is OK for them). 10 minutes later the truck arrives. Hand over keys to the mechanic who asks for my membership card. Go back into the office to retrieve the card and by the time I get back out he's fixed it!

Fantastic! A positive step for the morning.

He needs to call in my membership details as he's finished. Guess what? They can't find my details!!!!!! The poor guy got a tirade of thishashappenedenoughtimes*x@##;*

He called a senior bod and asked them to sort it out.... it had better be sorted out!

At least the car is fixed (for now).

Sorry story no 2: All about the gas

It's a toss up whether this is story one or two.... because this actually started some time ago when I 1st moved into the new place. I'll give you a quick recap.

I find a house to rent which has a gas token meter that the estate agent and landlord weren't aware of (so didn't inform me).

Because no-one's aware of it the meter is still in the old tenant's name. So the estate agent changes it to theirs temporarily in order to get the gas switched on. This takes a week and a serious amount of faffing.

Finally I get things to a stage where I can apply to replace the token meter with a credit meter.

Or not.

The token meter has to be transferred to my name and a card issued in my name and then I can apply to have it removed.

OK. Fine. It's stupid but I can't do anything about it so fine, go ahead.

Meanwhile I lose any credit that's on the machine when it's reset and once it's reset I can't use the card that's in the estate agent's name (which has £20 credit on it).

A week after the meter was reset I still didn't have my own card - thought nothing much of it, it took that long before. Unfortunately the gas ran out before the card arrived. There was nothing I could do. The old card wouldn't work... next morning I called the customer services line and the conversation went something like this:

'....A brief history of time..... BLAH so I have no gas and a card that doesn't work in the machine...'

"OK, the meter will need to be reset so an engineer will need to visit, I've booked that in for you for this evening between 5 and 8pm. Is there anything else?'

'Yes, please could you check why I haven't received the token card that was issued in my name?'

"Of course. Yes, you haven't received it because it hasn't been sent"

'WHAT!? THAT'S RIDICULOUS'

"[Sympathetically] I know, I'm sorry, I have no idea why that would happen. I've issued it now, it'll get to you within 3 working days."

'[Resignedly] OK, thank you. Can you also tell me what will happen to the credit that's on the card I now can't use'

"[Slightly panicked] you have to return that card!"

'[Patiently] Yes, I know but what will happen to the credit that's on it?'

"If you send it in with the receipt it can be reimbursed."

'OK, fine. Also, is there anywhere there that you can make a note of a complaint?'

"I can give you an address to send the card to and you can write a complaint to that address too."

'OK... hang on - is this the one that's on the website'

"Yes."

'Then I'll get it from there'

"[Enthusastically helpful] OK, no problem. By the way, have you thought of changing from a token meter to a credit meter?"

"[Turning slightly purple, vaguely amused and laughing as a preference to crying and being infinitely patient and trying to remember it's not his fault]

Yes.

That's what I've been trying to do, I have to switch to a meter in my name 1st."

'Oh.

I see.'

(Pause)

'[Aprehensively] You'll have to go through a credit check.'

"Yes, I know, that's not a problem."

'[Genuinely helpful] Well if you call us in the morning with a meter reading we'll put you straight through to the department that deals with that and they can arrange it for you over the phone'

"[Stunned surprise] OK, I'll do that, thank you"

(some cameraderie and banter and goodbye)

OK an engineer is expected for that evening, between 5 and 8pm.

At 7.50 I called them to see where the engineer was and was assured he was on the way, just held up at a previous house. 9pm came and went, 10pm came and went, 11pm..... next morning I called to see what had happened to the engineer.

Phone call number 1 went like this:

"Oh dear, no engineer, let me book another one for you. I can book that in for tomorrow."

'No, I want someone to come out today'

"I can't do that, it has to be booked 48 hours in advance"

'No it doesn't I booked someone on the day yesterday - the guy who didn't turn up'

"Appointments have to be booked 48 hours in advance"

'Do you have a supervisor I can speak to please?'

"Managers don't take phone calls. I can put a request through the system for a manager to call you within 4 hours."

'OK, fine, do that'

Followed immediately by phone call no 2:

"Oh dear, no engineer, let me book another one for you. OK, that's booked in for 5-8pm this evening. Let me just check whether the engineer's reports have been entered onto the system.

If the report states that they didn't make it to you last night you'll receive £20 compensation.

There aren't any reports on there at the moment but if there's an entry that states the appointment was missed and you didn't get a card through the door you'll be compensated.

Do call back if there's anything further."

'-'

'Continued stunned silence from me'

Engineer arrives promptly at 5 and claims to have visited the previous day in the afternoon (when the house would have been empty) and that he left a card. A mysterious, invisible card that I don't see....

Luckily the token card in my name has arrived because the meter can't be reset without it.....

Oh my God.

Ahem, excuse me, this Island is broken, can I get off please?

My money back?

What, there's no helpline for broken countries?

Oh dear God.

PLEASE SOMEONE LET ME OFF!!!!

posted by bugexplorer @ 9:20 PM